Mixed Up Matchmaker
by kickingtenshi
Summary: In an final effort to make the inhabitants of the mansion normalish, the Landlady takes a gamble at using the most normal thing possible...LOVE! But watch out...her matches made in heaven, might not be such great matches after all!
1. Prologue

HEYHEY!!! It's Amazoness here! I was just reading a couple fanfictions and I noticed there wasn't much about Tamao (the rich girl who's engaged to Ranmaru) and Ranmaru...but I didn't want to write anything specifically about them so I just made this.

Summary: In an final effort to make the inhabitants of the mansion normal-ish, the Landlady takes a gamble at using the normal-est thing possible...LOVE!!! But watch out...her matches made in heaven, might not be such great matches after all! Kyonako, Takenoi, Ranmao, Yuki-oc!

* * *

Mixed Up Matchmaker

"Bwahaha!!!" A cackle filled the air as the shadow of a beautiful woman hunched over a paper muttered maniacally, "This person goes here with this person, he matches with her…. OOOOHH!!! They'd be such a pair! They broke up, best not place them back together...they'd KILL each other...Oh, they'd hit it!"

The woman arched her back as curly tendrils of hair followed her movements. She screeched with evil laughter, "Yes! I'VE MADE THE PERFECT MATCHES! OHOHOHOHOHOO!!!!! I'M A GENIUS!!!"

Then she promptly slapped herself a couple of times and went to bed, but not before grinning crazily whilst striking a triumphant pose and hollering drunkenly,

"I AM THE ULTIMATE MATCHMAKER!!!"

----Mixed--Up--Matchmaker---->>

Lying lonesomely on a dusty desk was a single paper. On it were 8 pictures; 4 male and 4 female. They were all paired up.

Nakahara Sunako and Mori Ranmaru

Kasahara Noi and Takano Kyohei

Kikuno Tamao and Toyama Yukinojo

Atsushi Hikari and Oda Takenaga

To the poor unsuspecting people on the list – please ready yourselves, you're in for the fight of your lives.

It was a normal day in the Nakahara Mansion; Ranmaru was yapping on the phone to his latest squeeze, Takenaga was huddled into a plush red arm chair with a thick book in his arms, Yuki was sprawled in front of the TV watching an old rerun of Pucca, Kyohei was banging on Sunako's pitiable door whilst hollering to be fed, Sunako was watching her gory films while eating deliciously fattening chocolate, and Hiroshi was lying next to Sunako, waiting to be polished.

When all of a sudden, they (excluding Hiroshi) began to feel a strange tingle in the back of their necks.

The boys all uttered the same sentence at the same time, with the same fear in their voices.

"My Landlady senses are Tingling!"

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Haha, my reference to Spideyman!!!! Ok, you've read, now please review!!! D You don't have to write all nice stuff, I'd actually prefer if you'd tell me how to write better. So go ahead and write away!!! Tell me how you'd want the story to go, if you have any ideas or anything, and I might just add it in! D

Well, See you next time!!!

----Amazoness-->>


	2. Chapter 1

Hi! I don't really know if anyone's reading my junk, but if you are, PLEASE leave me something to remember you by! Maybe a review? D Well, I finished this like, 2 days after submitting the prologue, so it's sort of weird, but whatever. ANYWAYS! On with the story!

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Mixed Up Matchmaker

Chapter 1

It was a warm sunny day in the Nakahara mansion when –

"EH?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE HAVE MORE ROOM-MATES?!" Kyohei shrieked wildly.

The landlady turned red with anger and began scowling, "KYOHEI!!! ARE YOU TALKING BACK TO ME?! I SHOULD BE YELLING AT YOU!!! WHY ISN'T SUNAKO A LADY YET?!"

"I don't want to be a lady…" Sunako interrupted.

The landlady turned her head around and immediately began fussing over her, "Of course you do, I mean, you have a beautiful figure, and those boo-"

"AHEM!" Yuki coughed loudly. "AHEM, AHEM, AHEM!!!!"

"YUKI, ARE YOU OKAY?! BREATHE, BREATHE!!!" Ranmaru cried dramatically while ramming the poor boy on the back repeatedly. Yuki shrieked with pain and slapped Ranmaru over the head repeatedly.

"Please continue, Landlady-san." Takenaga said politely.

" Ah right, well Sunako, they're just the right size, you see, not too small and not too big, just enough to show cleav-" She ranted.

"HE MEANT THE ROOMATES!" Kyohei screeched with vigor as his face reddened into a shiny tomato. Secretly he tried to push out the picture of a very naked Sunako straddling him on his bed (AN: It actually happened in the manga.).

"Oh yes, well…you're aren't exactly doing the greatest job with turning Sunako into a lady ("I DON'T want to be a lady!" Sunako muttered forcefully). I admit that there are some positive changes, which is why you can stay, but I'm afraid that if she spends too much time with you she'll turn into a man!" the Landlady giggled, "so I've decided to ask 3 girls to come along. They're also in compromising situations like you. As you should know, Kasahara Noi's parents have decided to relocate to Guatemala to relax, whereas Noi would like to stay and continue her education.

"Kikunu Tamao's parents on the other hand, are afraid that Tamao will develop a dislike towards men as she has been sheltered from them and as she has had a bad experience with them before." At this, she pointedly glared at the cowering Ranmaru, "Both happen to be out of the country for a year or two and would like to give her a feeling of family, however odd that family is. Also, they would like to give her a chance to learn in a Co-Ed environment.

"And as for Atsushi Hikari, a scholarship student at your school, she lives too far away from school and can't afford any other apartment as of right now."

Kyohei began to open his mouth to argue, but the Landlady silenced him with a swish of her hand, "None of these girls could possibly become stalking fan girls due to experience, proper upbringing, and intolerance to stupid people. Also, because there are more boarders, the rent will be split into more sections, therefore making it cheaper."

Kyohei shut up.

And then promptly opened his fat mouth to exclaim, "HEY! Who you callin' STUPID?!"

Yet the Landlady was already climbing a ladder that unraveled out of nowhere (the helicopter hanging in the sky, actually.) and exclaimed delightedly, "OHOHOHO!!! I MUST BE GOING NOW, MY NEW HONEY AWAITS ME IN HIS CASTLE IN WHALES!!!"

Ranmaru sighed, "Who do you think it is this time? Prince Harry?" (AN: I have NO idea what I'm talking about, feel free to correct me!)

---Mixed-Up-Matchmaker--->>

When the Landlady came back the next early morning, 3 pretty but distinct girls followed her. The first girl oozed confidence as she tackled poor Sunako in a way like she hadn't seen her in years, when in fact she had just seen her last week.

"Noii-chiiii…" Sunako groaned while turning a vivid purple colour, "You're…cutting off my…circu…culation-"

Kasahara Noi quickly apologized as a blonde girl smiled.

"Kikunu-san." Takenaga said rigidly, bowing towards her, "It's good to see you again." At this, the Landlady mentally pumped her fist in triumph.

"Likewise, Oda-san." Kikunu Tamao smiled regally, the very image of a well-groomed princess/heiress. She turned towards the 4 boys and 1 Sunako and bowed slightly, "Please take care of me."

They all turned towards the only person who no one really knew and waited expectantly.

"Oh! Hello, my name is Atsushi Hikari, and I will be rooming with you." The shorter brunette said. She bowed deeply, "Please take care of me."

"So as not to inconvenience the boys and Sunako-chan, the bedroom plan will go as followed." The Landlady spoke with authority, "Tamao-chan, you will be sleeping in the room in front of Takenaga and Yuki. Noi-chan, you will be in front of Yuki and Ranmaru. And Hikari-chan, you will sleep at the end of the hallway in the room in front of Ranmaru and Kyohei, and beside Sunako-chan."

The new housemates smiled and began to lift their bags. Tamao tried to heave her heavy bag onto her back when a hard calloused hand covered her small dainty one.

"Here, I'll help you." Takenaga said, being the closest to the struggling heiress.

"Okay, well…I have to go right now. I'm late for a lunch date with some beautiful women…I'll be back later, don't wait up for me!" Ranmaru said hurriedly as he ran off in a flurry, accidentally knocking over the frail Tamao who looked too appalled at something to dodge the red-capped torpedo.

"Damn it! Ranmaru ran away just so he didn't have to lift any luggage!" Kyohei scowled angrily.

"Kikunu-san, are you alright?" Takenaga asked softly, pulling her back up.

"I-I'm fine, I just saw a," Tamao took a deep breath, "a spider, that's all." The Landlady grinned and pushed Tamao into his hands.

"Whoops! I tripped on my stilettos. Goodness, it's been a tiring day!" She sighed dramatically.

"I'm back, I forgot to grab my –" Ranmaru burst in hectically, knocking into Takenaga who was standing in front of the door while trying to steady the weak-legged Tamao, thus successfully putting them in a compromising situation in which Tamao was clinging on to Takenaga and Takenaga was clinging on to Tamao.

And they were lip-locked.

As soon as they realized what was happening, Takenaga immediately let go and Tamao immediately crashed onto the floor. Their eyes flew to each other's as their cheeks began to redden into a rosy hue. The Landlady grinned evilly and then gasped dramatically,

"Oh my! Takenaga! How could you drop poor Tamao-chan? Hurry, help her!" she scolded the blushing boy.

"Ah…I apologize, Kikunu-san." Takenaga said softly, pulling a swirly-eyed Tamao back onto her feet. As he helped her stand, his eyes strayed towards the brunette standing off to the side. Her eyes were wide, her eyebrows were furrowed, her nostrils were flared, her mouth was set in a straight line, and her hands were curled into fists. She looked into his flabbergasted eyes.

Angry, disgusted, disgruntled, and heartbroken.

And with a quick turn of her head she laughed, "Wow Tamao-chan! You're so lucky! Getting to kiss one of the 4 handsome princes of your new high school without even going there yet!" Noi grinned.

Tamao smiled nervously and averted her gaze to the door where Ranmaru was standing stonily.

He then put on a charming face and said slyly, "Haha, well, I'll just let you two lovebirds work it out while I go meet my hot date."

And off he went.

On the outer side of the door, Ranmaru groaned punched the brick wall beside him in fury, only to hiss with pain afterwards. He stared down at his bleeding fist and scowled. He would get it wrapped later.

"So, should we get going?" Hikari asked obliviously.

"Yes, yes!" The Landlady smiled cheerily, "Takenaga, please help Tamao with her luggage…Kyohei, help Hikari –"

"Okay! I'll go help Noi-chi!" Yuki grinned excitedly, happy to get away from the Landlady. He quickly tried to lift two large bags…and failed.

"Haha, Yuki-kun, you're so cute! Here, that's my stuff so I should help you lift it." Noi laughed sweetly as she grabbed one of the bags and slowly dragged it up the stairs.

Takenaga smiled down at Tamao who was staring dazedly at the door. He gingerly picked up one of her bags and began hauling it up the stairs as well, "Here, Kikunu-san, let me help you with your bags."

Sunako shrugged and picked up one of the bags and began hauling a large amount of baggage up. Kyohei smirked.

"Is that the best you can do?! I'll beat you!" he goaded.

"Shut up and lift the luggage, I want to get back to my movie," she said monotonously.

"Come on!" Kyohei urged. Hikari stared at the two, seeing obvious attraction between the two.

She cleared her throat and began to wage, "Whoever can carry the most luggage will get a Cadbury chocolate bar-"

"Deal!" they cried out, as they began chucking luggage onto their backs and headed towards separate staircases.

"…Hey! Where'd the stuff go?"

And so, Kyohei and Sunako puffed their way towards the room where Hikari was arranging her stuff.

"I won!" "No, it was me who won!" "Are you stupid? Anyone with eyes can tell I won!" "I DID!"

"Whatever, here, fight for it." Hikari shrugged, tossing a chocolate bar out the door, behind the bickering two. They jumped on it like wildcats, trying to grab the delicious prize.

---Mixed-up-Matchmaker-->>

His hands reached out to grasp her thighs as the woman sucked at his neck. He had been forced to stop getting any by the guilt and the vision of her innocent, teary face ever since he met her. Yet at the first glance at a decent looking guy, she threw herself at him. A scowl marred the handsome boy's face again.

"What's wrong, Ranmaru-kun? Kiss me!" The woman moaned against his neck, "Mmmm… Ranmaru-kun?"

He stopped groping her for a second and whisperedbreezily against her ear, "Hey, I'm the best-looking, right?"

---Mixed-up-Matchmaker-->>

"SUNAKO!!! GET OUT OF YOUR ROOM AND MAKE ME FOOD!!!" a voice hollered at the locked door, "NOW!!! I WANT TO EAT!!! SUNAKO!!! FOOD!!!!"

Sunako opened the door slightly and muttered, "Hand." Curiously, Kyohei stuck his open palm.

Sunako placed something into his hand and furled his fingers into a fist.

"Now go away." She scowled, slamming the door into his face. Kyohei unraveled his fist and bellowed with fury…she gave him a chocolate bar…

Wrapping.

"SUNAKOO!" he howled angrily, "COME OUT HERE AND MAKE ME DINNER!!!"

"AAARRRRGGGHHH!!!!!!!!" a shriek came out from the room beside Sunako's. An annoyed brunette head popped out of the door. Mahogany eyes glared at the deranged boy who was beating up a door. Kyohei jumped with fright and surprise.

"If you'd stop banging on the door, perhaps she'd come out." Hikari scowled.

He blinked stupidly and shrugged, "We do this routine everyday."

Hikari sighed, "I'll cook for today." She said as she began sliding down the stairs.

Kyohei stared at the door again before scowling and following the girl down the stairs. Sunako peeked through a creak in the door. She stared wordlessly at the broad shoulders, spiky blonde hair, and retreating back of the King of All Light Creatures.

---Mixed-up-Matchmaker-->>

He scowled at himself for the umpteenth time that day. Even though she had thrown herself at that scoundrel as soon as she saw him...with her ex standing there, watching her every movement... she still wormed her way into his mind and stopped him from doing anything with a very beautiful, very rich, very _willing _lady. How could her innocent teary face peer into his mind? Into his soul?

He stopped and shuddered, trying to erase the one thought that scared the SHIT out of him...

How could she pierce herself through his very own, heavily guarded heart?

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teehee! Yeah...it's not really funny... --" I'm sorry...maybe if someone could leave a review and tell me how to make it funnier??? Anyways, I feel kind of perverse for writing that scene with Ranmaru...I swear, I've never written anything about thighs and necks and whatever other body part fetishes are in there...I feel kind of gross...I'm going to go take a shower now...Ciao!

Amazoness


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